ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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