So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
