Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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