Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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