He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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