If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
