i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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