please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize
