Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
