It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
