38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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