question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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