You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
how can u be prego again
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
