yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
