found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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