i just had sex bonerless
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
