Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
