And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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