Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
