Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
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