I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
