I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
