we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
