You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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