you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
