I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
