I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
