He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
