Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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