I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
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