new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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