You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
COCAINE IS GR8
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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