eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
