People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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