Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
