Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
