We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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