What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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