Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
