I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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