I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
They took my balls.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
