I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
