Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
