No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
