I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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