talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I love having hate sex.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Randomize
