He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
