I want to stick my p in your. b.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
