if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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