I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
