glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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