Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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